thunderingtyphoons:

sonypraystation:

im not thinking about it

#how i’m doing is none of my business

penfairy:

allandnot:

penfairy:

my parrot is a fucking dumbass with no sense of self-preservation. proof? he got spooked by a pear - by all accounts a green and tasty friend - and flew into a wall to escape, but when greeted with a sink full of soapy boiling water - by all accounts a harmful, bird-killing abyss - he launched himself into it at top speed and cried when I locked him in baby jail to stop him from killing himself. 

Please tell your parrot I still love him.

he just threw his seeds all over the carpet and laughed about it so I will not

faequill:

fluidpuck:

Two fair men lie in water warm and slow,

As brothers are they joinēd heart to heart;

But Cupid hath not struck them with his bow;

Lest that be thought, they sit five feet apart.

Fuck you

josieandthepussycatsofficial:

imnotstupidchris:

toadprince:

me: paw patrol is cop propaganda designed to get you from a young age to sympathize and look up to police while also de-fanging their image to you. the police are not heroes and they are definitely not safe to be around.

baby im babysitting: ba

Are you fucking serious?

Did an adult ever tell you that the Disney movie you were watching as a toddler was political propaganda?

Probably not. Because it’s fucking FICTIONAL.

Only adults read way too far into shit and think every little thing is gonna brainwash their child (more than they already have.)

That kid is not seeing what you see. 100% fact.

So whose really brainwashed here?

Btw I hope you don’t reproduce 🤗

Also, how are you NOT brainwashing them? You limit their imagination and tell them their heroes can only be this or that.

Limiting kids so their opinions match yours? That’s not brainwashing?

god i wish my brain was this big

ghoulgoon:

ghoulgoon:

i think rickrolling is the only meme that gets objectively funnier with age. in 2009 you learned to anticipate it but in 2019 it happens just infreqently enough that i fall for it every single time

like people still make rage comics and doge jokes and shit but it’s always ironic (the real punchline is that you’re using an outdated format) or more in line with modern absurd internet humor. rickrolling is the only meme i can think of that’s been the exact same for a full decade- click on a link thinking you’re getting something else, get rick astley instead, and it’s still consistently funny

liturgicelly:

my bio prof: which parasite caused the potato famine?

the tiny desperate tired voice in my head: don’t say the english, it’s correct, but don’t say it

jpgay:

when your parents break a promise

aresnakesreal:

like imagine if you’d never seen a dog and you saw a saint bernard and you were like, what’s that and then someone was like, thats a dog. and then you saw a chihuahua and you were like ok whats that and they were like, that’s a dog. wouldn’t you feel lied to? wouldn’t you sense that something was amiss

gotouda:

men will wear the worst jeans youve ever seen and act like its okay

somecunttookmyurl:

somecunttookmyurl:

somecunttookmyurl:

Listen my dudes Ancient Egypt existed for a really fuckass long time. Literally just Pharaonic civilization lasted 3,000 years. That’s not even including predynastic civilization and Roman rule. If you lump that in you’re looking at more like… 5,000 years.

Like. If you want a comparison of how long that is: THE YEAR IS CURRENTLY 2018. TWO THOUSAND. TWO-THIRDS OF ANCIENT EGYPTIAN PHARAONIC CIVILIZATION HAVE HAPPENED SINCE THE ‘BIRTH OF JESUS CHRIST’

We comparatively just entered the Third Intermediate Period. The Greeks will not take over for another 700~ years. Cleopatra will not be born until the year 2931.

It’s a really long time guys.

Anyway look. Listen. I sat my ass down and wrote out a timeline of “when shit happened if you started at 1AD” because I know backwards numbers are hard to process but here’s an abridged version.

If the first Egyptian Pharaoh came to power in 1AD then…

300: step pyramid built
450: Great Pyramid at Giza built
815: Pepi II dies and civil war breaks out
950: Egypt re-unified
1350: Middle Kingdom ends
1450: New Kingdom begins
1520: Hatshepsut is on the throne
1650: Ahkenaten switches to monotheistic religion and builds a new city
1680: Tutankhamun dies
1720: Ramesses II ‘the great’ ascends to the throne
1740: World’s first peace treaty signed
1790: Ramesses II dies leaving way too many children
1920: Egypt breaks into 2 states again

And now we get to ~~~~the future~~~~. If we started at 1AD all of this stuff hasn’t happened yet

2050: Briefly re-united as a single state
2180: Civil war
2250: Nubian kings take over
2335: Assyrian conquest
2665: Alexander the Great conquers Egypt
2930: Cleopatra VII born
2970: Cleopatra VII dies. Egypt falls to Rome. Fin.

And that’s just starting with the Pharaohs. If you wanted to start with Predynastic Egypt, you can go ahead and ADD ONE THOUSAND YEARS to all of those dates

I hate that this is still getting notes but that it’s getting notes *without the timeline addition* like c’mon, man. I had to do MATHS for this. I DID MATHS FOR YOU PEOPLE AND ALL I GOT WAS A BUNCH OF RACISTS

lilyachtyismyfriend:

neyruto:

Cowboys are witches and horses are their familiars

guns are their wands and they only know one spell (bullet)